Evolutionizing My Style

Well, hello there my peoples! It has been some time. *sniff* I've missed you all so much!!!

I know I promised to post on a regular basis and to talk about my first ever powerlifting meet, but as I'd previously discussed before (in the Cha-Cha-Cha post), sometimes we digress from the paths we initially set out on and make adjustments before moving forward... and so, I've digressed from posting on a set basis (will post as much as I can given the constraints of my list of priorities each week) and will talk a little more about my meet later on (however, for those of you interested, here's a lil' peek at my 245# deadlift at 113# bodyweight).

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I did want to bring to your attention to the evolution of my philosophies on training.

Like all things in life (something I said to one of my clients today), there is a developmental process behind our training style. The beginning (even when you're starting over again after an extended hiatus from having trained before) is your foundational stage – it's the stage where you develop the movement patterns and the habits that determine your future gains. As your training age progresses, things change; your focus will change, your goals will change, the exercises you utilize will change.

Continuing to view our fitness lifestyles from the developmental standpoint, much like the way we develop as human beings, one might say that in the year and some change since I've been back at it, I've gone through an early adolescence (and am still continuing to grow through that as I continue studying and learning). I've tried a little bit of here and there and everywhere, finally coming to understand that the following elements are pretty universal across the board, regardless of what training style you adopt.

In my oh-so-humble opinion, I'm sharing with you a few small metaphors/similes/whathaveyous to think about when it comes to attacking your heath and fitness goals:

• TRAINING IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER. Whether your goal is to burn fat, gain muscle, rehabilitate or maintain, training stands by your side through thick and thin. Training as is appropriate for your goals is necessary and the only way to meet your maximal health and fitness goals. Specific types of training are only necessary as they fit into your schema of ideal health and fitness, in the capacities that they are required (I.E. You want to be a fighter? You need to have enough stamina and endurance to go balls-to-the-wall every round, maximize your rest and recovery periods in between, have the strength and the technique to beat your opponent, etc. Your training regimen should reflect building each of those things in accordance with the priorities you've set to train for, and cycle to maintain balance. You want to maintain good health and keep mobile? Your training regimen can be a little more varied, as long as you balance out the different aspects of health and fitness to the best of your ability by keeping track of your gains in whatever direction you bring them through such activity). 
  
  For some more information on training style and finding the right fit for you, check out Anthony Mychal's write up on How To Find Your Culture (And Why It Matters). Additionally, check out this really cool flowchart that Bret Contreras put together.

• FORM IS KING. Good to perfect form that is appropriate for your body will reduce your risk for injury and help you maximize the effects of your movements while strengthening all the targeted muscles/muscle groups. Focus on maintaining form and stop your set if your form breaks down more than 10% (giving you a little leeway for fatigue and ability to push yourself as far as possible). Remember this: Practice makes consistency, so for the beginner who has had no instruction on movement, it is ideal to get coach who can help you learn how to move with proper form, so that you don't have to worry about overriding bad movement habits that you develop by continuously practicing movements improperly.


• PROGRESSION IS QUEEN. The King and the Queen go hand in hand, rule the land together. They each play their role in the continuous prosperity and growth of the kingdom. As much as you want to focus on maintaining solid form, you should focus on GAINS. Whether it means that you're at the very basic level of solidifying your form, starting to make some real gains in the strength/capacity department and need to either add reps or weight, or are making body composition changes, progressing is important. Providing a challenge stimulus to promote growth in some direction is the basis of progression. Do not neglect her, lest she commands offing of heads and you are forced to remain in stalemate stasis forever.


• WATER IS YOUR SOUL MATE. We need water. End of story. Okay, well if you must have a concise reason as to why you need to drink enough water for your performance is that in order to appropriately utilize all the nutrients your body consumes as fuel for your performance and function, especially in light of the fact that humans are comprised of approximately 50-75% water and increased exertion and activity levels result in the loss of lots of water, you need to constantly replenish your dwindling life force. Okay, maybe that wasn't so concise, but you get the point, right?


• SLEEP IS YOUR LOVER. We need sleep. Your body needs to recover, rejuvenate and replenish its energy. You are energy. You need to be recovered, rejuvenated and replenished. You're like a rechargeable battery. Sleep is your recharger. Plug in to your maximum potential and thus reach it with all the effort that you are able to utilize because of all that energy that you have each and every day. Take yourself to bed each and every night with no exceptions. 6 hours is a minimum for function, 8 hours is a must for performance.


• FOOD IS YOUR FRIEND & FAMILY. We like to spend time with our friends and family. Some more than others. The least unprocessed, whole foods are the ones we should be spending the most time with, especially those lean proteins and veggies. It's alright to spend a little time here and there with all the other folks, but in their right time and place. Think of highly processed foodstuffs as those folks who are kind of toxic and unhealthy to be around... it's okay once in awhile to hang out with them as long as you feel you need to (who knows, maybe one day they'll change?), but at some point, you'll probably draw the line to the highest minimum or completely exclude them from your life because of the way they constantly bring you down and suck the life out of you (or maybe you'll limit your interaction with them to just those times you wanna party in excess/live it up large, which is pretty taxing if you do on a daily basis).

And that's it for now. A few simple thoughts to help give you a glimpse of how I approach health and fitness programming.

Can you think of anything else that should be on this list? Sound off your thoughts, I'm open...

Interrupted Flow

SOoooooooooooooooooo... hello there. *CHEEZ*

It's been awhile... again. I have a totally legitmate excuse though. It's called "My First Meet."

It's the next blogpost that I'll be throwing up come next Wednesday, so keep your eyes peeled. I'll be going into detail about the weeks of prep and the lessons learned on my hiatus from writing as I focused my energy on getting through work, moving, the boys and training for the meet.

In the meanwhile, I hope you wonderful people have been continuing your life evolutions each day.

Much love and see you in a few days...

XOXO 

Living On Purpose

Howdy, folks. Happy Hump Day!

In the past couple weeks since we've last met, I've come face to face with a lifelong struggle of mine that I will share with you today. I have long struggled with a degree of ADD/scattered focus. As an adult, I've found that it becomes exacerbated during times of extreme stress for me, whether or not I admit how stressed I feel at the time (apparently, I've adapted to the feeling of chronic stress so well that when I am undergoing it, the only telltale signs are mild to moderately severe facial acne breakouts plus a touch of fatigue). 

It is during these times I may bite off more than I can chew, and I end up overwhelmed by the sheer volume of crap that I had basically inundated myself with (subconscious desire to perpetuate crashing and burning, perhaps?). It wasn't until the past few years that I've been able to peel through the layers and make myself conscious about the problems so that I could provide for myself and others a quick and speedy solution.

That solution started out as a path to self-discovery about what things were serving as obstacles and why; it then evolved to discovering what I truly wanted and effecting a plan of action to acquire such a thing/things.

On that same token, let's talk a little about how this all relates to a common scene in many gyms: The goal-less workout.

Such a workout typically consists of whatever the individual decides to do that day based solely on feeling.  There is no regard to structure. Of course, we'd like to think that such a laissez-faire approach is perfectly fine. In the case of staying at a generally consistent level of fitness, sure. If you're not looking for change and you're happy with where you are, you probably don't need to change what you're doing -- what you're currently doing is likely the groove you enjoy and find works in harmony with your life.

In the case that the routine loses effectiveness or you should decide to work towards a specific goal such as losing fat, gaining muscle mass or gaining strength, it makes sense that one would want to find the most efficient way to get the body tuned into the melody most optimal for that specific goal. Working out laissez-faire will no longer cut it, and one must incorporate as many signals as possible to orchestrate the body's components into synchronized manifestation of your goals through directed action (for a great read  on how you may be creating too much noise for the body, click here and venture over to Anthony Mychal's blog).

For example, say I want to gain muscle mass. Running 60+ minutes per day and cutting calories is likely going to hinder my results, no matter how heavy I choose to hit the weights each day that week. If I want to lose fat, it will likely work best for me if I can get my nutrition and training on target as consistently as possible (as discussed by Dr. John Berardi under "Insight #4: Exercise Alone Doesn't Work" right here, or check here and here for two other studies looking at the same topic), focusing solely on nutrition or solely on training will only provide you with modest fat loss results (in the study Dr. John Berardi was a part of, only 1% reduction in body fat over the course of 12 weeks). However, the combination of the two will actually increase success by up to 6 times more than one method alone.

It's much like life and the goals we make for ourselves. We can't say that we want to be wealthy if we can't understand the concepts of investment and conservation. We can't continue further down that road of success at an accelerated rate if we're spending our time dabbling here and there without specific regard as to how our choices will benefit us maximally in the long-term. 

Specific, directed intention and execution is needed, in order to live purposefully and not reactively.

To live purposefully is the consistent effort to create. You decide what you're going to do and how it's going to bring you forward to whatever place you want to be. It is learning from any mistakes made along the way and adjusting your methodologies to continue forward with more success the next time around.

To live reactively is giving up your personal power to create. Sure, on one hand a person might argue that it promotes quick-thinking and creative on-the-spot problem-solving; there is, however, a large element of control that is missing from the equation. Instead of taking responsibility for one's own misdeeds or miscalculations, a person becomes prone to excuses, pointing the blame to outside sources rather than one's self.

In order to keep progressing in the most efficient manner -- whether it is in life or in the gym -- the summary of directed action towards specific goals (living on purpose) trumps "fuckarounditis," (as Martin Berkhan affectionately calls the lack of focus on directed programming).

How have you incorporated purposeful and directed action towards your goals and accomplishments?

I'd love to hear from you guys.

Spring Clean Update

Whew! What a month it's been!

Let's get caught up, shall we?

I'm glad to see you all again.  Since we last came together, some changes have occurred:

- I'm now working as a trainer ONLY at Bally's in Hayward and a private studio in Redwood City
- I went to L.A. on a mini-vacay to celebrate the wedding of a good friend and support one of the milestones for a client, while also being able to celebrate my eldest child's 4th birthday at the "Happiest Place on Earth" (Disneyland, for those of you who have been hiding under a rock for your whole entire life)
- I'm moving very soon
- I'm starting up a couple small group classes in both Redwood City and Hayward that are specifically geared towards fitness noobs who are interested in getting results in a fast, fun and dynamic 8 weeks
- One of the projects I've been able to be a part of is now available for your pleasure (click here to visit Paul's page and sign up for the newsletter to download the free, 45-page ebook entitled, "The 7 Not-So-Secret Secrets of Aesthetics."

Following some of the things I've spoken about in my earlier blogs from this year, I got myself a head start on some spring cleaning and found myself with a renewed sense of direction along my current path.

The mini-vacay to Southern California was filled with fun, nostalgia, dreams, love, planning and fresh air (maybe not that fresh from a physical persepective... we are speaking about the Greater Los Angeles Area and all...).  The beauty of the wedding, the time with the loved ones, viewing magic come to life through the eyes of my little ones and the overall "in the moment" experience of the trip was exactly what my creativity needed for the extra boost forward.

And boy did it all jump forward.

I had become even more determined, upon my return to work and every day life to really simplify.

Something about being at Disneyland with the kiddos sparked its way right through all the layers of consciousness in my mind and heart, finding its way right to some storehouse of my childhood joy, wonder and vision. 

I'll often get reflective about my childhood when around the people who filled it, but this time was something different. Almost as if in perfect, chaotic symphony, this was the perfect point of my life to really hit some deep issues that might have served as subconscious blocks to my forward movement in life, while simultaneously unveiling some core, foundational beliefs that help me to be so much more specific about what I want from my life and what I'm willing to do/accept to manifest that which I desire.

Similar to the road to a healthy transformation, I have been working to strip all the unnecessary things from my life the way one works to melt away the unnecessary fat stores all over the body, while conserving the important things the way one would like to conserve muscle mass.  It has not - by any means - been a speedy process; however, just the way one's form becomes more apparent with the reduction of body fat, what I have to do and the areas that I need to address have become more apparent as I've stripped down further and further.

As the above image depicts, the problem(s) may not have gone away completely, but it has been pared down and filtered into something manageable with a definite end in sight.

Well, how about that? Spring cleaning and we're only a week into Spring.

**CHEEEEEEEEEZ**

Soooooo... that said, no better time to clean things up than when you move your home... and no better time to tighten things up than when you're in transition (i.e. work transitions, the nascent phases of new projects, etc.).  No?  You don't think so?  Well, think about it...

When you're moving, you have the opportunity to sort out EVERYTHING in your space and really get rid of things you don't use/need/want anymore, but have either been too lazy or have just not been conscious enough about to bother with.  You have the opportunity to plot out your new space to suit your needs.

When you're in the middle of work transitions or the beginning phases of a new job or project, you have a small period of time where you're learning the culture/temperature of your new environment, establishing/learning the standard operating procedures and making the necessary adjustments prior to getting that momentum going and settling into your work groove.

It is during these opportunities that we have the ability to incorporate anything new into our routines; it is these opportunities that afford us the ability to consciously start new pathways in the brain to weaken and override any of the old pathways that no longer serve us or are serving us poorly.

I'd love to hear from you all about how this resonates with your life, if it does.  What are the things you're focusing on?  What about your life can be simplified and streamlined?  Also, if you have any thoughts to share about the way you go about these processes, don't hesitate to do so!

And for now.. until the next time we meet... Happy Spring and Easter to you all.  I hope for continued evolution for each one of you as life continues to present opportunities for you to cultivate your inner strength and growth of spirit.

Doing the Cha-Cha-Cha

I'M ALIVE!

Yes... I did step away from the bloggingness in the past few weeks simply because I had not the inclination to write something meaningful enough or worthy enough to put into the ether.  Not so much that I'm filtering anything, just that I didn't want to write just to write; I'd rather write with sincere inspiration to share whatever is really at the heart of my being, instead of contriving some sort of jumble of words for the mere sake of verbally marking my presence somewhere (especially since there is already a lot of noise everywhere we go anyway).

That said, in my last blogpost I hinted about a discussion on progression.  Funnily enough, I got this awesome mailing from one of the little daily bits that I subscribe to that started off with this:

"It is a natural part of being that our lives sometimes contract before expanding." - DailyOm

If you'd like to read the whole thing, feel free to click here.  To summarize the article, it basically talks about step one of those little principles I talked about in my first blogpost of the year and its importance to progression: The need to step back.  As far as I've experienced, stepping back usually leads a person to one of two different directions:

1) Moving forward in the same direction one was originally headed, except with a new sense or strategy of how to advance appropriately and more efficiently

or

2) Moving forward in a completely different direction.

Might I also add that #2 has some subcategories as well:

2a) Momentary Regression: That completely different direction is only a sideroute to help a person acquire the necessary tools required to progress in the original direction (because the person basically skipped a few steps or came forward inappropriately prepared to tackle the original path... kinda like trying to skip steps when leveling up in an RPG or something... you know, when you get to the big boss of some level and you fail because your character just wasn't well-developed enough to tackle that obstacle).

2b) Complete Digression: That completely different direction is the more appropriate direction that is a better fit for the weary traveler.

Arguably, one might say that #1 and #2a are the same.  They're close, but not quite.  I'd say #1 is more like my experience working with my coach for the past few months.  In fact, I've got a great pic for y'all to start my story off with:

After months of doing my own programming, I was seeking a way to take my lifting and body composition to that next level (outside of fight training) and was blessed with an awesome coach.  I started walking down that path on his programming and was great about following the workouts and the initial nutritional plan laid out for me.  A few bumps in the road (including a 3-week stint of bronchitis plus a week of the kids being sick; a total of 4 weeks no gym) and some time into the next phase of nutrition later, my leaning out progress started to slow, only, it wasn't because of his programming.

I was diverging from the meal plan.

Actually, it wasn't even really "accidental" divergence (quotes used because, let's face it, no one really "accidentally" diverges from their prescribed meal plan), it was a combination of getting lazy and/or intentionally cheating or substituting items on a regular basis because of the "just this once" cheat or substitution mentality that eventually turns a "just this once" time into a flurry of noncompliance.  I had to take a step back a couple times and really take accountability for my noncompliance and then recommit myself to moving forward along the path the initial/appropriate way he had intended me to move forward.

I did put together some simple fixes to help myself adhere more strictly to the original plan and path - strategies like making sure I had all the necessary items that were listed on the list and not buying anything else that wasn't on the list (unless it's something for the kids, but in most cases, the kids can eat the exact same thing I'm eating).  I made sure I was carrying a good sized water bottle around with me to ensure proper hydration (because I'm really bad at that), and I cut back on eating out because of convenience.

When it comes down to it, all I really had to do was buckle down and be like Nike says: "Just do it."  I never truly strayed from the original path or direction, in this situation.  I merely lost momentum through either my own laziness and/or distractions, thereby having to re-focus and push through to continue the course at full speed.

On a different note, an example that is more like #2a would better be explained by visiting the progression of my squatting technique in the past year.

You see, I have squatted to "a box" (a bench) and learned how to squat with a barbell on my back in my lifetime.  However, when I got back to weight training in May 2012 after a four-year hiatus and in a deconditioned state, my form had definitely gone out the door.  My biggest problem involved the excessive forward lean (as my coach effectively stated, "good morning the sh*t out of it.").  Oh sure, I was getting stronger, but not the stronger that I was aiming for.

I totally needed to regress a little bit, re-learn a few things before being able to move forward.  I admittedly did not have some of the "tools" needed to progress appropriately, so regression was absolutely necessary before I could get back to squatting heavier and heavier.

(If squats are an issue for you, check out these articles about some fixes that could improve your form and ability to move forward appropriately: "But Squats Are Still Scary and Why You Are Not Seeing the Squat Booty You Were Promised" (by Joy Victoria), Simple Solutions to Correct Your Squatting Technique (by Charles Poliquin), Get Your Butt Out of the Hole - How To Improve Your Squat (by JC Deen))

Honestly, from my perspective, there is no option #2b when it comes to moving forward in life.  However, #2b is definitely an appropriate option for specificity with regards to paths in life.  What I mean is that it may be the appropriate option for certain types of training, in the case that you experience some sort of extreme injury that prevents you from ever moving forward along that type of training ever again (i.e. amputation of some sort that prevents you from ever training that body part again).  In most cases, there exists some alternative movement or exercise that can be done in place of others for almost every type of injury or disability; it just comes down to the matter of figuring it out (with the amount of knowledgeable individuals out there and information floating about, I'd be hard-pressed to believe that there isn't a solution for just about everything, if you have the heart to go find it).  

It may also be the solution when it comes to career paths or the pursuit of a relationship with a specific individual.  In fact, when it comes down to it, option #2b should only be utilized when you've already exhausted the possibilities of option #1 and #2a.

As the old adage says: "Where there is a will, there is a way."

In life, we are always moving forward, even if that way means some sort of regression before progressing or finding it within you to push through harder than ever to regain momentum, and even if you must digress and find another path.

Progress is evolution and evolution is the essence of life.

---

For some great reads on progression with regards to training (starting at square one - the beginner phase), check out the following articles that I've enjoyed:

The 3 Essential Pillars of Weightlifting (by FitJerk) Note: This article is a great, simple, straightforward approach to exercise selection and progression

Mastering the Basics (by Sohee Lee) Note: Great article to read in addition to the above when getting into strength training.

What To Do When You Can't Squat Deep, Benching Hurts and Deadlifts Terrify Your Back (by Joy Victoria) Note: Another great article to read in addition to the above when getting into strength training, you've gotten the hang of doing the movements and are ready to add some load, but can't quite get the loaded movement right.

No way? No Excuses!

"You can start with nothing. And out of nothing, and out of no way, a way will be made." — Michael Beckwith

One a rainy Saturday not too long ago, I was driving uphill with my two little monsters in the backseat, on the way to my parents' house (neither parent was actually home, but we figured that we'd hang out and wait for them to come home after a short trip away from our own home).  The road is a main thoroughfare in the area, but not quite the super busy road, especially at 8:00 pm in the pouring rain.  Most traffic in the area was to and from the residences in the immediate vicinity, however, it being dark and rainy and all, there were a few times that cars traveling at a high rate of speed for the area came speeding around us (the lack of police in the area makes it a great area for speeding far above the posted speed limit).

For those of you whom are familiar with the San Francisco Bay Area, you are probably aware that outside of the Cities of San Francisco and Oakland, a car is pretty much a necessity in order to get around.  Having two little guys, two jobs that require lots of travel and picky preferences with regards to our nutritional needs further cements the necessity of a vehicle.

This was no good.

30-minutes later, my youngest child was crying his head off, my older child was asking me (for the hundredth time) why mommy's car pooped out and when we were going to get going, my patience was wearing down.  I had posted a PSA on Facebook to see if anyone in the immediate area could be of assistance when all of a sudden, my mom happened to pass us by.  She had forgotten something at the house or whatever reason she had for going our direction and things started turning up.  She was able to take the kids back to the house (forsaking the party she was supposed to go to), call AAA to help us with a tow and wait for me and my car to arrive at the house afterwards.  I patiently waited for help to arrive, and while waiting, found help from a couple guys passing by to push my car out of the way of danger and to the side of the road.  Fortunately, one of the guys happened to used to work at a local transmission repair shop and referred me to them, citing that the owner would most likely be able to help me with a payment plan (considering my lack of suitable income for big emergencies such as this - most ESPECIALLY a transmission job and who knows what else could have gone wrong - this was a Godsend).  Within a few days, I had the car towed to that shop and discovered that the owner was a neighbor of my parent many moons ago.  Score!

The car stayed at the shop while the shop owner had to research whether or not the manufacturer would be able to help us out since the vehicle is relatively new and well-maintained.  It took a couple weeks to determine that I'd need a full replacement of sorts, and that the manufacturer could not help us out because my warranty had run out 30,000 miles earlier.  The part would have to be ordered and installed.

During that time and the weeks following, I lost a key figurehead from my childhood to death, had my grandpa lost and found, got pulled over for blocking an intersection and was given a citation that resulted in the borrowed vehicle I was driving being impounded and subsequently released after a large fine was paid to the City of Hayward and the towing company that towed the vehicle, grandpa was rushed to the hospital that same week for a TIA due to a blocked carotid artery, grandma rushed to the hospital for respiratory failure due to a case of pneumonia hitting her right lung, an uncle died and the very next day, my Member Services/Sales Manager at the gym lectured me about the need to pick up on my sales skills/prospecting potential training clients.

UGH.

I suppose I could use each and every difficulty and obstacle listed here as an excuse for lagging, not doing my work, failing in my day-to-day tasks and sit down and eat bonbons while moping around in my own self-pity...

...HECK NO.

I'm committed to growing and becoming a better version of myself every day, no matter what.

I'm accountable for whatever mistakes, no matter how small, unintentional or just plain stupid they might have been, that brought me to some of these circumstances.

I understand that life is gonna pull you out of your comfort zone (as discussed in my last blog) and that will not feel good, but I will grow so long as I handle the discomfort with strength, understanding and faith.

I think to myself about how I need to address each and one of these events in order to keep moving forward.

Progression is not an option, it is a need.

I may not be moving forward as quickly as I'd like, but the only thing that matters is that I am moving forward.  I am learning, I'm handling each event in life and taking what it has to teach me about what I'm doing and how I need to adjust, adapt and move forward, and I'm applying the knowledge.


The first few blogs I have put out this year definitely speak to some of these principles and practices that I must use regularly just to keep moving forward (feel free to browse through blogpost 1, blogpost 2 and blogpost 3, if you haven't already).  In my next post, I'll be talking a little bit more about progression and will likely link you guys up to some great reads as a supplement to the art of evolutionizing your life.

Until then, ciao, much love and blessings.

Peeling Off the Layers

"Much research suggests that people have a “psychological immune system” that initiates protective adaptations when an actual or impending threat is perceived (see Gilbert, Pinel, Wilson, Blumberg, & Wheatley, 1998)."

Taking it all the way back to basic biological science, our bodies strive to exist in a state of homeostasis - a state of autonomic regulation, or more simply put, balance.  The body has a natural immune response to stressors attempting to disrupt the system, which is why our mucous membranes get all slimy and leaky when we catch a cold and our internal body temperature becomes feverish during certain illnesses.  However uncomfortable these states of being are, they exist as the body's natural way of fighting off that which is disrupting its happy state of balance.

So imagine that our psyche's also have an immune system of its own that initiate protective adaptations towards actual or potential threats... I dare say the psyche is not quite as straightforward as the body is.  Enter the theory that we have layers and layers of self-defenses we'll put up in order to stay in the constant state we're in.  So, if we've been living a certain way for some time, don't you think change may take a little work to effect?

You've probably seen this image before (and if you haven't, glad I could introduce you to it).

We live our lives with expectations, ideas, and we get comfortable with our schemas and notions of the way things "should" be done or the way things are.  Even when we complain and state how much we don't like our lives, we've grown accustomed to our routines (or lack thereof).  We love our sugary drinks and staying up til the wee hours of the morning partying our asses off into the sunset, lathering, rinsing, repeating... but O-M-G!  I hate the way this dress is(n't) fitting!  WHOSE BODY IS THAT in the mirror?  We love our sleeping in til noon and freedom from day-to-day... but I HATE being BROKE!  I need a job/to win the lotto/etc.

Let's get a little more personal here... I have been struggling financially for awhile.  It has probably been my biggest issue that I have wanted/not wanted to face ever since I've entered adulthood.  On one hand, I've always dreamed of being financially secure and stable enough to do what I want to do freely - buy toys, trips and good food without a second thought, treat family and friends here and there, help charities that touch my heart, drive randomly everywhere and anywhere without regard for gas mileage or where I'll end up that night... whatever.  In many ways, I lived that way for a good while throughout my early twenties.  However, it was always living to the last coin, never truly hanging on to a good savings for a rainy day.

Sure enough, the unexpected would strike and I'd be forced to get creative about funding or, to the chagrin of my ego and pride, seek help.  For example, in January of 2005, I was on my way home from work in the wonderful San Francisco rush hour traffic when a girl utilized my trunk space as a stopping device for her vehicle at or around 60 mph.  My 2001 Honda Civic LX was shortened, as the trunk was smooshed into my backseat.  After having to salvage the vehicle, I made a series of poor choices with regards to the money I received from my insurance due to the underlying fears I had of getting a car that I was so fond of and something bad like that happening again.

That series of poor choices included purchasing really cheap vehicles that costed me more in the long run than it would have costed me if I had just invested in a decent vehicle regardless of the incident.

But was it really just that underlying fear, or was it a deeper issue with financial responsibility that was the issue?

Years, two children, a bunch of big unexpected events that cost a pretty penny and many paycheck-to-paycheck months later, I did finally come to the point at which I realized that there was a deeper-rooted issue with my entire view of money and finances that needed to be addressed.  Once I came to that conclusion, listed out my priorities and financial obligations, it was like the Universe opened up to guide me on how to tackle each one by one, as I moved forward to finally doing what I needed to do to really live the life I wanted to live.

These things ranged from finally putting into savings and cutting my debt list down one by one to finding employment in positions that are linked to what I really want to be doing with my life (and believe it or not, this is an important aspect of the financial responsibility equation because aside from the understanding that I do need to make enough money to live and grow, I am minimizing the likelihood that I will burn out and increasing the likelihood that I will work hard enough to keep growing in my new position).

What did it take for me to get to this point?

Honesty, humility and faith.

Honesty with myself about what I really wanted from life and what I really wanted to be doing with myself.  Honesty about what was holding me back and the willingness to dig deeper and find the obstacles that were not in actuality externally created obstacles, but self-defense mechanisms to keep me where I have been all this time - in the constant loop of disaster, instead of moving forward and beyond my comfort zone.  Honesty about what I needed to do to move forward and everything that came along with the decision to move forward along this path.

Humility was needed to contrast the pride that was holding me back from not only seeking help and advice from people who could provide such things, but also from accepting the truth of what those people would speak to me.

Faith in the process is the constant fuel for what moves me forward.  

It didn't feel comfortable for me to make the changes I needed to make in order to move forward.  In fact, it felt like I was putting myself back, or as a friend suggested, putting myself into a scarcity mentality versus a mentality of abundance.  Cutting back on my travels, my eating out and spontaneous expenses felt like I was cutting out on my life.  However, I was advised to do these things by a few someones who knew a thing or two about cutting out debt and building investments.  I had to let go of the old ideas on why my finances were so challenging to me and embrace the reality of what was holding me back.  I had to have faith in the process that taking this advice and making these uncomfortable changes would actually get me to where I ultimately wanted to be.

I could probably talk for many more moons about this topic and give you many more examples of how these layers affected me in other areas of my life, but the main reason I shared these things with you is to potentially help you see where in your life you might be making similar mistakes.  Ask yourself if there's any issue that keeps coming up in your life that you'd like to get rid of.  Be as honest as possible with yourself and review the following questions:

1. If you're currently on the path towards a goal, is there anything holding you back from achieving it?

2. If so, what is holding you back and why?

3. Is there anything you can do to overcome this goal?

Chances are, going through these questions and digging deep will help you start to bring to the surface the different layers of defenses that have been built up to keep you in the state of homeostasis that you're existing at right now.  Being cognizant about the issue is what helps migrate you from that big bubble of a comfy zone out to the vast, open tundra of the zone of maximal growth.  It may even be painful to face the reality beyond that comfort zone, but try to remember that it's only temporary.  The reward at the end is much greater.

Feel free to sound off your thoughts on this blogpost.  I'd love to hear what you all have to say, your experiences on the topic and what you've done to overcome or if you're currently working towards overcoming your own self-created obstacles.

Chugga Chugga... Momentum?

It's Monday again! Er... Actually, It's Tuesday now.

I was actually going to write about adjustments, adaptation, accountability and progress. Actually, I still am. However, before I get there, let me tell you a little about how this week started for me - the excitement, the drama and the happy endings... all of it... just because.

As fluid as time is, there is usually a cause and effect type of phenomena when it comes to the way we progress through life. What we did last week often has an effect on the way we do things this week. The only exception is death, really. Even abrupt life changes that force us to drastically change the way we live are affected in some way by our recent histories and/or past experiences. That said, even in the effort to bring in the New Year, clean the slate and start fresh will have its debris from the recent past and any unfinished business to clear in the beginning at the least.

That said, I was having a helluva time trying to put my words onto the screen. I had a flurry of topics that I wanted to put out there all fighting for their place in the world simultaneously buzzing about the plans for the week and the mountain of a to-do list I had created for myself this year. Sunday night came and I found myself kicking myself in the butt for committing myself to a weekly posting (while still knowing that it was all a valuable part of my journey). I had kept putting off the writing til the 11th hour and I knew that something had to be started whether I like it or not. So I begrudgingly started... 

...and then we had a family emergency.

As I was in the middle of writing the beginnings of this week's blogpost while waiting for the laundry to dry, a call came in from my aunt (simultaneously with a text from my older cousin): Grandpa took what was supposed to be a 10 to 15-minute trip to Target at 6:00 pm and had not yet returned. It was already 10:30 pm at night. A welling flow of worry and fear started to take over, as my anxious thoughts about work and Grandpa and my car in the shop and the children and wars and world peace... okay... so just about everything was exploding in chaos in my mind.

Grandpa is typically a fairly capable man for his age. Kind-hearted, hard-working and nurturing, he's the type of guy a scammer would pick out, and Grandpa, without his cash on him, would drive the scammer to the ATM and withdraw money for the guy and his "church donations" (true story). Aside from his big heart, his physical heart is the other weakness he has. In the past year, he had been rushed to the hospital for passing out stone-cold in front of a Rite-Aid due to a pacemaker failure. Now you know exactly how worried we were on a cold, wintery night when 4 1/2 hours after he had left, he was nowhere to be found.

My oldest uncle and aunt in one car, my younger aunt in another, our family searched the city hoping to catch a glimpse of the car he had borrowed to make his Target run. My youngest uncle, the owner of the vehicle Grandpa had driven, filed a police report and was waiting for police to dispatch someone to the house to take down the report and open the case. I had decided to throw out a PSA on Facebook, in the case any of my friends and network might be able to help bring him home. My youngest cousin took it upon herself to drive around in search of Grandpa, along with the other two family cars that were on the search. My eldest cousin had called to all the hospitals in the surrounding area and still nothing. By 11:30 pm, there was still no sign of him, nor any success in getting the police to the house (though CHP and VPD had assured us they would keep their eyes out for his vehicle).

By close to midnight, we were all fearing the worst and praying hard for him to be safe. As I was texting w/ my youngest cousin, she was driving in the dark and foggy isolated area near a local park, when she sent the message, "I FOUND HIM!" Half-fearful that she'd find someone else driving the vehicle an half-hopeful we eagerly awaited the news.

It was him. Grandpa was safe. A little lost and citing the darkness and the fog as his reasons for being lost, but safe. 

By the time we had settled down enough, Monday had come and my mind not quite ready to turn in. I knew that I'd be tired by morning if I didn't sleep soon, but I still had everything that I needed to do ahead of me and though I was not feeling (at that moment in time) the momentum I wished I had to push me forward, I forged ahead anyway.

The days that go by are not perfect. The goals we set for ourselves are not always so easily achieved. We will work at it, chiseling away at the stone as Michelangelo had worked at La Pieta. Things happen, we end up having to take the steps I mentioned in my last blogpost, but the key to it all is adaptability, accountability and openness. Being open to the idea that every step is not perfect, and in order to stay on track we must be able to adapt through whatever may come. We have to hold ourselves accountable, even if there is no one in front of us to cheer us on, and even when we don't feel the push we want to move us forward. In fact, to adapt is in itself an aim, no matter how you look at it. Growth and positive change is adaptation at its best. 

The road to progress is paved by openness, adaptation and accountability.

I could have told myself that no matter how much I need to settle down and sleep, considering that I have a client first thing in the morning and a mountain of a to-do list, I made a commitment and am keeping myself accountable to that commitment. I will write as I had before, allowing the words to spew from my heart and mind onto the screen and let it be done on the date I had set for it to be done. Additionally, I feel that this type of self-discipline and motivation is exactly what I need at this point in my life to keep the momentum going; not just the momentum that keeps my writing going, but the momentum of self-motivation that translates to all the other aspects of my personal and professional life, as well.

Take fitness goals, for instance:

You make a goal to lose weight/gain muscle/be all you can be/just be healthy. You move forward and maybe you're that group that sees progress right away, maybe you're not. Depending on where you started and what you're doing, your progress in 4 weeks may not resemble another person's progress at 4 weeks... or even 12 weeks. While it is completely and absolutely possible to make some amazing changes in a 12-week period, if you're one of the people who doesn't immediately see that progress, should you stop striving for your end goal? Hell no. Just cause you don't look like/are as strong as the person next to you or still have a crapload of health issues, doesn't mean you're not eventually going to get there, get close or maybe even supercede your goals. You shouldn't even be comparing yourself to anyone else... not even your past self (in the case of those of you who went through enough life changes that you no longer recognize who you are anymore). Your path before you has brought you to where you are now, and making a new path will definitely take some patience and work.

This is best accomplished in small bites.

Enter the immediate (daily) goals, short-term (phasic) goals and long-term (BIG/milestone-type) goals, and how they all fit together. Your Monday through Sunday, Weekly/Two-Week/Three-Week, and program completion objectives. There are a bunch of little bits adding up together to make a big bit. Whether it's starting small on the weights or focusing on eliminating/adding nutritional habits to your daily routine, you're starting with the small bits to get the job done at first. As you progress, you'll certainly add load, eliminate/add more nutritional habits, and so forth until you finally reach your ultimate goal. The important thing about all this is remembering what each phase of your program is supposed to look like, and identifying stages appropriately to help you keep perspective of that ultimate end goal.

When life throws you them lemons, maybe you're phase will get extended, maybe you'll fall back a little, but that doesn't mean you stop progressing or moving forward. Find the power within you to make the baby steps - take it back to the day-by-day before you get daunted by the mountain of the week ahead. Keep perspective of your end goal and much like Friday comes sooner or later, you'll get to it.